Hello again my angel, today I have an album that I wanted to play to you when you were very little to help you sleep and get you used to noise so that you could sleep better. It matches my currently very somber mood even though this album has always made me very happy. It's so simple and beautiful, beautiful like you are. I also wanted you to know this album when you were older too because it is great for coping with a lot of things.
Nothing can ease the pain of your departure but being able to talk to you and listen to Nick Drake right now is dulling it. It feels comforting to be able to communicate with you like this my love.
You can take the road that takes you to the stars now. I can take the road that'll see me through.Not a minute goes past that I don't have the privilege of thinking about you, and remembering you and how you looked. I miss you so much, but I know that we can't dwell on things we can't control. We can only grieve in our own ways and eventually find our path back onto happiness. I know that you want us to be happy, as happy as you are with god in heaven. I know that you never want us to feel pain or sadness or suffering, and it comforts me that you will never know these things but we have to live on for you.
I think it's a bit unfair that Pink Moon is such a short album since I won't get to spend that much time talking to you like this today. So I want to do something longer tomorrow, I promise. It just felt so fitting since I would have wanted to play this to you the day we brought you home and put you to sleep in your lovely cot. I hope that the lovely music will keep you warm and keep us warm when we try to cope.
The cats have been funny recently, I know you would have loved their antics. Rusty has been very clingy with us, I think she knows we need some extra love to help us cope down here. You would have loved Rusty, she's very kind and playful just like you were in the short time we got to know you. There's Mandoo too your grandmother's cat, she's not so keen on cuddles but I know she would have loved them from you. Finally there's Sakaki that lives at home, she's had her troubles but she has a kind heart and loves to be stroked, she would have loved you.
Pink Moon has the spirit of autumn and I feel that when we lost you on that Monday summer truly left, so it feels appropriate to bring in autumn into our minds. This is a very easy album to fall asleep to and sometimes sing along to, so I had hoped to play it to you lots.
I hope you remember how much everyone loves and cares for you, especially your mam and dad. We love you so much and want the best for you, so please don't spend even a second worrying about us, we'll make it through this for you. We will know happiness again, but never at the expense of your memory. I know it's not something we can ever forget, losing a child as wonderful and perfect as you, we will always cherish your memory.
I hope you were able to see how brave your mam was and has been, she was so strong in bringing you into this world and she has so much love to give to you. Baby Mickey is with us too right now helping me write this to you. He spent all the time we did with you in this world and I hope it comforts you that we always keep him by our side, especially when we sleep.
I was finally able to sleep for a long stretch of time today since we were told that we had lost you on Monday last week. It helps to be more awake, but it makes the pain more clear, but my mind can cope better.
A day once dawned, and it was beautiful. A day once dawned from the ground. Then the night she fell, and the air was beautiful. The night she fell all around.Goodnight my angel Nathaniel. I look forward to tomorrow.
Love from Dad.
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